Friday, 28 June 2013

Game Review: SLENDER: The Eight Pages PART 1 of 2: Slender Man 101

Hello! Today, I will be reviewing one of the scariest games I've ever played, Slender: The Eight Pages!
Now, before I get to the review, I'm going to tell you a little bit about the Slender Man because Slender Man is the main focal point of the Slender games, and it can be useful to know what the heck Slender Man is before you play. Now, this may be disturbing to some readers, so don't read this alone, and don't read it at night, okay? Good. Here we go.
Slender Man is a Mythical Creature. Well, actually no. It started out as a creepy pasta (Creepy Internet story) on the Something Awful Forums with a photoshopped picture of the Slender Man with a bunch of children. The photoshopped picture won a paranormal photoshop contest. The picture and story even inspired 2 Minecraft characters, the Enderman and Herobrine! The good people at Parsec productions made a game based on the creepy pasta. A lot of people have claimed to have seen him or took pictures of him, but all those photos are fakes. A lot of people think that Slender Man is real, but I am not one of them. He's just made up for fun. Anyway, back to the description. He is tall and thin. He has a totally blank, white face with no features. He wears a black suit and tie. (Start singing Justin Timberlake's song Suit and Tie now!) He also has 8 tentacles coming out of his back that he can extend and retract at will. His limbs can also stretch. He preys on children. He terrifies them and takes them away, it is unknown where he takes them. He can make his weak prey go insane. He appears to them at short bursts at a time, increasing their paranoia. The more paranoid his prey is, the more he appears, and eventually steals them away. Some other names for this creature are the Tall Man, the Branchman, and Satan's Gentleman. (I'ma Motto Foddo Gentleman!) He can teleport at will, and can float slightly above the ground. He makes no noise. He can't even speak. He has been on earth since the beginning of time. He is not afraid to go out during the day, he lives in the forest. He blends in with the trees. (So much for your summer camping trip plans!). He is scary.

What the heck is this!?!?!?!? Creepy, huh? Good old fashioned nightmare fuel! Don't say I didn't warn you this was scary! I think I'm going to sign off now. I'll do the Eight Pages review soon.

WATCH OUT FOR HIM!!!! HE'S WATCHING!!!!!!!!!! (not)

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Game Review: Portal

Hello gamers! Today I will be reviewing a game that I just finished playing about 2 weeks ago, Portal!!
Portal was a game released in 2007 in the game The Orange Box, which included the games Half Life 2: Episodes 1 and 2 and Team Fortress 2 as well as Portal. It was created by VALVE, a video game company. It became a very popular and viral game, so popular that it was followed in 2011 by Portal 2, which I have also played and completed. In Portal, you play as a test subject named Chell. She is an orphan, and she works in a scientific research facility called Aperture Science. Unfortunately, Aperture Science is ruled by an Evil Robot named GLaDOS (Genetic Life form and Disc Operating System) who tells you that you must complete various puzzles using the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (Or Portal Gun, hence the title of the game.) to get to her (And to get your cake!). Now, the Portal Gun isn't a regular gun, it shoots Portals! 2 portals at a time, an Orange one and a Blue one to solve the puzzles which would be impossible without the gun. Anyway, at the end of the very last test chamber, Chell don't listen to GLaDOS' orders to stay put, no, she decided to try and find GLaDOS and destroy her once and for all!
GLaDOS!!!!!!!
Portal was a great game, it was very Mentally Stimulating and very exciting. It also had an AWESOME song at the end of the game, Still Alive, preformed by GLaDOS herself! While the game is great, I would recommend it for ages 9 and up because it does have a little bit of blood in it and the game is very difficult. GLaDOS' voice did get a little bit annoying in the game, but, WHO CARES!!?? This game was excellent! I would give it 5 out of 5 stars!!!!!! If you want to play it, it is ten bucks on Steam (The online video game store that VALVE owns and runs) , but you could also buy it in a bundle on Steam that includes Portal and Portal 2 for only 25 dollars! Very good game! And remember, The Cake is a LIE!!!!!

Have you played Portal? What did you think of it? Tell me in the Comments!

Portal 2 review coming soon!